Unofficial Challenge

Sunday morning I walked into my second class of the weekend and the one teacher looked up from signing me in and asked with a little smile if I was doing a 30 day challenge.  

‘Um…um…Officially?’ I asked.  ‘Sort of. Unofficially.   Yes, unofficial.   I’m going out of town next weekend though and I’m going to miss Saturday so that kind of screws things up….so I was just kind of unofficially doing one since I don’t know if you can make up a missed one during a challenge.’

I did know that you could make up a missed class by doing a double (and I had two doubles down already—one was the day before I had hip problems and missed a day and the other last week was just for fun with a friend and was a ‘spare’) based on what I had read on other yoga blogs but I didn’t know what was my studios official stance on missing a day or two during a challenge.   The teacher told me that it was okay to miss a day here or there during a challenge because sometimes life got in the way and it was unavoidable but it could be ‘made up’ by doing a double.   Also, she said, it shouldn’t happen more than twice in 30 days.

Awesome!  That means that one day I missed due to severe pain was made up already since I did a double the day before I missed a class.   I’m going out of town this Friday and won’t be home until Sunday around midday.  Already, I had planned to take my usual six am Friday class and was going to bump up my ten am Sunday class to one of the late afternoon classes but there wasn’t anyway I could manage Saturday’s from the next state over!  I don’t think  you need to do the double the day before or the day after the missed day (and if so that rule wasn’t explained to me) so I’m going to do a double today to ‘make up’ this Saturday’s class.

That means I’m at 21 classes right now and after this afternoon I’ll be at 22!  Only eight more to go!   I think I’m going to say I’m officially unofficially doing a 30 day Welcome Back to Bikram Yoga Challenge.

Half Moon OUCH!

Photo found via Pinterest

Half Moon Pose seemed to go on forever and ever and EVER!   You start with your arms up and first you lean to one side like in the picture, then the other, then backwards, and at last you bend forward until your face is pressed to your shins.   And you do it twice.  It seems fairly straightforward but if you are doing it correctly (or hell, even half correctly!) and making sure you have your weight shifted where it should be and all of your body parts are pushed forward or back or lifted according to where they are supposed to be, you get a tremendous stretch throughout your body and it's not so easy anymore.

Normally, I like this posture a lot.   When I bend to the left, I can't go as far as I can on the right because it's stretching my bad hip and it almost but not quite hurts to do it.  It is kind of like when you get a massage and it sort of hurts but not exactly.   It's a good hurt.  Today, in class, I was experiencing that nice 'good hurt' and getting a nice stretch and it just kept going on, and on, and on!   Likely it was my perception, but it seemed to me (& my friend!!!) that the teacher was having us hold the positions just a little bit longer than usual.  I'm not sure if I was lacking energy because I had stayed up too late the night before or should have eaten more than a bowl of cereal for the dinner the night before or if was purely random that I was struggling to keep my arms above my head.

Really, it was an infinitesimal amount of time longer but as I stood there pressing my palms together and stretching my arms away from my body I could have sworn it was a lifetime.  My arms were aching and I was dripping in sweat before the first set was even finished.  I literally was excited when we did the fourth part of the first set and bent forward just so I could put my arms down.  I wanted to wrap my arms around my legs, never let go, and shout 'I'm so happy to see you legs!'

I think that would have gotten more than a few strange looks.  =\

During class I felt frustrated with the teacher because of my perception that she was 'torturing us' and I felt a little annoyed the first few minutes after class finished.   Class ended perfectly at the 90 minute mark so I know that the teacher didn't actually have us hold any of the postures longer than is the correct amount of time.  The cold air outside of the studio refreshed me and cleared my thoughts.   I felt good.  Really, really good.   I had felt like I was struggling (more than usual!) in class but that was a good thing to feel pushed and keep working to do my best.   I'm thankful to that teacher for being 'tough' (or me feeling like she is! there's that perception thing again!) because I think that inspires students* to keep trying and never give up.

* I shared with another friend of mine who wasn't in class this morning about how 'torturous and brutal' class felt and she knew right away what teacher I had before I told her who it was.  Hahaha!   Either we share the same exact perception or maybe the teacher really IS a bit of an awesome, tough badass.  

Midol Meets Bikram--An Unfortunate Tale

from FitSugar on Pinterest

It was 5:15 in the morning and I was getting ready for the 6 am class when I finally admitted to myself that I was having some pretty severe menstrual cramps.   I didn't want to be distracted from class by them so I did what I sometimes do during a particularly bad bout of cramps: reach for the bottle of generic Midol.   I shook two out in my hand, swallowed them with some water, and went to class.

Class went well.   Like always, there were a few things that were just a tiny bit better than last time (too small for anyone to notice but myself,  but hey!  I'll take it), a whole pile of postures that have a LONG way to go, and best of all, one teeny tiny compliment on my Camel Posture.   I'm under no illusions that it looked awesome or anything, but I did feel like it was a little better than last time.   I appreciated the praise regardless and it kept me smiling all day long...even during what happened next.

I finished class and drove across town to get home quickly and shower before work.   Lucky for me, I was a passenger on the way to the office and not the driver because three minutes into the ride I started feeling off.   And then really off.   It felt like my brain was in a fog and I started to have difficulty speaking.  I tried to send a text and instead of typing to my friend 'I don't feel well' it came out something like 'I dog upstairs.'

My fingers and lips began to tingle and my head was slowly beginning to pound.   I felt unbalanced and dizzy as I teetered into work.   It occurred to me that it was quite possible I was right on the edge of being dehydrated.   I filled up my water bottle and drank it straight down and refilled it.   This bottle I sipped more slowly interspersed with some coconut water.   I got a little food in me since I hadn't eaten anything that day (not out of the ordinary--I usually don't eat before the 6 am class) and kept drinking.   Within a half hour I began to feel a little bit better and within another hour I felt normal except for a lingering dull headache.

Once my thinking had cleared I thought more about my hydration levels before class.  I had drank plenty of fluids the day before and the small amount I do before a six am class.  I had done everything as I normally do....except, I took two generic Midol.  Suddenly, I remembered that the pills contained diuretics!   Midol plus a 105 degree hot room for Bikram Yoga??  Not only was I sweating the large quantities one does during class but my body was working overtime with the aid of the medicine to further flush out fluids.  No wonder why I had felt so awful!

I felt a little foolish then but it's a lesson well learned.   Hydration (and not taking a menstrual pain relieving pill containing a diuretic!) is always important and even more so when participating in an activity that causes such a loss of fluids.   I'm being extra careful to pay attention to how much I drink more than ever now.  It's so important!

Darth Vader Takes Bikram Yoga

art by Illustrator Rob Osborne

Pranayama (Standing Deep Breathing) consists of standing with your heels and toes together and standing straight and tall.  The fingers are interlaced under the chin and then you take a long, deep breath in as you lift just your elbows towards the ceilings keep the fingers underneath the chin.  Then with a loud exhale 'Haaaaa' you let out every last bit of air as your drop just your head back and bring your elbows to touch in front of you by bringing your palms together, wrists together, forearms together, and at last elbows together.  This breathing exercise is done in two sets of a gazillion each.  (Hey, I never can manage to count how many exactly because I always get caught up in musing why my head is so freaking heavy when I drop it back and what if it gets stuck one day and I can't lift it back up?!)

The exercise is done as a warm up for all of the other postures that are to come in class.   It seems, at first, not terribly difficult to do but that's a little bit deceptive.   There's all sorts of little things to attend to while lifting your elbows and then tilting your head back:  hips forward, weight back in the heels, chest lifted, shoulders down, fingers interlaced, butt tight, legs locked.  The other day in class I thought I had this all down when I became aware that I was taking class with Darth Vader.

Several Darth Vaders.  In fact, about thirty of them.   The inhalations were very nearly as loud as the exhalations!   At first, I told myself that it was just the collective sound of EVERYONE making it seem so loud but then my ears began to zero in on individuals' breathing all around me.  Each one of them was a Darth Vader!   How did they manage to be so loud?   It's not as if you could shout an exhale.  

I pondered this for a few moments and focused on my own breaths.   They seemed so quiet and much more reasonable but then I realized something.   Instead, of taking the biggest breath in that I could and letting all of the air out of my lungs I was holding back because I was embarrassed to be 'too loud.'   On the next inhale, I tried to push past my self consciousness a little bit and I noticed I was able to stretch and lift my elbows just a little bit higher.   When I exhaled a little more forcefully, I was able to to lift my elbows out and away from my body just a little bit more as I brought them together.  

Carefully I concentrated for the remainder of the exercise on not worrying if I was 'loud' as I breathed deeply in and out.   It was amazing the difference it made in my ability to stretch up and out as I prepared my body for rest of the class.  I felt invigorated with all fresh oxygen I was breathing in and excited to discover just how much a difference the correct breathing technique can make.   I don't know if anyone would refer to me as Darth Vader just yet, but I'm working on making sure I take the deepest breaths possible during Pranayama and not worrying if I'm 'too loud.'  =)

A Case of the Itches

The other day in class I sent up a silent prayer to the Yoga Gods to please let me sweat more.   Yes, you read that correctly.   I wanted to sweat more.    Every inch of me was covered in sweat but I wasn't sweating enough because every couple of minutes a little bead of sweat would pool up and run down the side of my nose ever so slowly, tickling and itching like crazy.   Then, it would happen again, down the back of one knee or behind my ear.    Each time I resisted the urge to wipe (scratch!) at it with varying degrees of success.

There is supposed to be stillness in the postures and that includes not fidgeting with your hair or your clothes.   It includes not wiping away the sweat or bending over and fiddling with the towel on your mat.   The idea is to concentrate on the postures and not on the external, unimportant things.   But holy crap!  A single drop of sweat running down some part of your body has to be the itchiest thing ever!   I have to admit that I scratched and more than a few times.

Soon, I was chanting in my head 'please, please sweat more!' and found myself reaching and stretching just a little bit more each each posture in hopes that that the additional effort would increase my body temperature even more.   If I could sweat more, I knew that those single, irritating beads of sweat would go away.   During Standing Bow, I had the most intense desire to scratch away the offending drop of sweat making it's lazy way along my hairline to my cheekbone but somehow I stayed in the posture only to find that when we switched sides the itch moved to my upper left arm.   Then, my right instep followed by the side of my nose (again!), my right shoulder blade, my right shoulder blade, MY. RIGHT. SHOULDER. BLADE.,  the inside of my left thigh, the inside of my left calf----

ENOUGH!

A full on case of the itches was upon me and it was making me crazy and ruining my class.   I took a deep inhale and began Standing Separate Leg Stretching.   An itch began on the inside of my arm and  made its slow, torturous path down the length of my arm.   Instead of thinking about how itchy I was I decided to acknowledge the itch as something that was here now but wasn't lasting and accept it.   Once, I did that, the teacher's words seemed a little bit louder and clearer and I focused on them and trying my best to make sure I was following them.   Back straight, eyes straight, go all the way down until you can't see anymore and slowly reach for your heels.   Lean forward and pull.  Lift your hips and try to touch your forehead to the floor.   Relax the head and neck.

Concentration and peace returned.   When the floor series came and we were lying on the floor in Savasana, I realized that I felt calm again and wasn't feeling itchy anymore.   Focusing on the words of the teacher and what the inside of my body was feeling had allowed me to stop focusing on what my body felt externally and that was good.   I felt calm and restful and my breathing slowed in preparation for the floor series to begin.   I congratulated myself on my ability to center myself and was mentally patting myself of the back when I felt it.   The tip of my nose tickled and then began to itch unbearably.   I resisted.  Just barely.

Pride goeth before an itch.

The Hottest Place in Town

Tropical Yoga Sandman by idylvyldcreative on Etsy

This morning's temperature was below 0 degrees when I drove to the yoga studio and while I can't say walking into a 105 degree hot room was quite as awesome as stepping off a plane onto a tropical island it was still pretty darn good.  It felt good to strip off my outerwear down to my shorts and tank top and just sit and be still in the heat before class started.   I wanted to soak up every little bit as if I could somehow make it last throughout the entire day.

My practice today was certainly not my personal best but I still had a lot of soreness in my right hip and I needed to be kind to myself and take it easy.   As my muscles warmed up some of the pain went away and I had to keep reminding myself to NOT push it.   Today was about just being in the studio and gently stretching and seeking openness for my poor (crappy!) hip.   I took a few precautionary Advil after class and brought my heating pad with me to work and at the end of the day the pain is halved from what it was last night.   I'm looking forward to class tomorrow.

As a little seven class reward to myself, I picked up a new water bottle.  It's a Contigo 24 ounce bottle that has a self sealing function and a carabiner built into the cap.  It's also BPA free and all that good stuff As silly as it may be, I'm more excited that it's green and has Tree of Life branches on it than I am about all its features.   I guess the self sealing function is pretty handy at work because I don't have to worry about knocking it over and it spilling on my keyboard.    Oh, and the 24 ounce thing is pretty hand too because I don't have to keep leaping up to refill my tiny water glass.   Hmmm...I guess I am pretty excited about the other features too.

I'm wondering how much water is normal to rehydrate after a Bikram Yoga Class.  I've had about 96 ounces of water, a couple of cups (small 6 ounce cups) of coffee, and one glass of crystal light.   I'm still thirsty but I don't seem to have quite enough room in my tummy to fit much more in and I feel like surely that's been plenty of fluids to rehydrate.

The other day after class a few friends and I went out to dinner and I'm not proud to say that I didn't have anything healthy.  I ordered chicken tenders and steak fries solely because I wanted something I could load up with salt.   And load up I did.  I think I might have grossed out those at my table but I couldn't help myself.  Even after I ate the chicken and a couple of fries and was full, I wanted to lick the salt off the remaining fries.   I grossed myself out with that thought but I couldn't help it.   My body was just craving salt after sweating so much.   I think I need to do some research about hydration and electrolytes while practicing Bikram Yoga.   Coconut water seems to be a big thing but the one time I tasted some I thought it was absolutely disgusting.   I picked up another container of it this afternoon but this time with orange added to it for flavor and I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I'll like it.

I'm skeptical.

S-1 Joint Problems & Bikram Yoga

Sacroiliac Subluxation.  Fun stuff. =\

I woke up this morning and before I even got out of bed I knew my right hip was going to hurt.   I disentangled myself from my two little Maltese dogs and crawled out of bed.  I straightened up slowly and sure enough that piercing tight feeling I dread feeling was there.   For a little while, I ignored it, thinking that maybe if I moved around some and took some ibuprofen it would loosen up.   I washed my face, pinned up my hair, and got into my yoga clothes.   Then, I did an experimental bend or two.

Uh huh.  Wasn't happening.  I couldn't even bend over halfway before my hip screamed in pain.   I knew that when it's at this level of pain that the best thing to do is baby it.  If I baby it, then there's a good chance the tightness will let up a lot quicker and I can get back to my normal activities.   Also, \ Rick and I were planning on Ceili dancing tonight and if I overused my hip this morning there would be no way that I could manage dancing.   Reluctantly, I took my yoga clothes off and went to take the hottest shower I could handle instead with hopes to ease some of the tension in my hip.

I'm really disappointed that I had to skip yoga this morning and it doesn't seem to matter how many times that I tell myself that I did a double yesterday and it's okay to take today off.   I didn't want to take today off.  I wanted to go to yoga.  =(

Read more about Sacroiliac Joint Dysfunction.

Dry Shampoo & Hot Yoga

My hair is dark, coarse, naturally wavy, and waist length.  It takes over twenty four hours to dry on its own and about twenty minutes for me to dry it with the blow dryer if I’m not actually trying to make it look good.  It’s also naturally dry and I apply alarmingly large quantities of Moroccan Argan Oil to help with the dryness and I don’t like to wash it everyday because excessive washing causes breakage.  Some people find that very gross but I assure you it’s not—lots of people can’t wash their hair every day for the very same reasons!

Bikram Yoga throws a wrench into everything.   The sheer amount of sweating that goes on in the hot room makes it necessary to alter my hair care routine. When my hair is piled up on top of my head in a bun for class, the bulk of it doesn’t get sweaty but my scalp and the first few inches are drenched by the end of class.  I’ve taken to leaning over a sink and shampooing my scalp and the hair that touches it after class in order to buy myself just another day before washing the entire length and further drying it out.   

Today, I really needed to wash my hair in its entirety but I was doing a double at the studio—the 6 am and then the 4 pm classes—and I didn’t relish the idea of washing my hair after the first class, having wet hair all day at work and then going to the 4 pm with wet hair.   I decided I would skip washing my hair until after the four pm class even if I did feel a little gross at work.   After the first class, I went home and quickly showered and got ready for work.  I combed out my hair and then put it in a low chignon to keep it out of my face.  

But, by lunchtime I couldn’t stand it any longer.  My head felt itchy and unbearably disgusting.  My friend and I ran to the grocery store on our lunch break to pick up some food for lunch and I purchased some of that L’oreal dry shampoo I’ve heard to much about and an inexpensive brush to use since the back of the bottle said a brush was necessary.   Back at work, my friend got lunch ready while I went into the bathroom and gave the dry shampoo a try.

Disaster.

I followed the directions carefully, lifting sections of hair and spraying the dry shampoo in short bursts at the roots.  It looked horrific—it looked like I was graying at the roots and my hair was sticking up oddly.  I’m not going to lie—it sort of looked like I was rocking some Einstein hair!   I let it set for a minute and then I massaged it in.  When I began to brush the product back out it turned into hundreds and hundreds of tiny white flakes.   It looked like I had upended three salt shakers on my head.  I began to panic and brushed faster.  I cursed as a snowstorm of dry shampoo swirled around me.

My friend came in to see what was the matter.  She was speechless for a minute and then said something about the one time she tried dry shampoo a couple years ago.  ‘Did this happen to you??!’   I leaned closer to the mirror to see if ANY of it appeared to be brushing out.  It wasn't.  She told me she didn’t remember but she had never used it again.  Hmph. 

There was nothing else to do but attempt wash it out with soap and water.    I wasn’t thrilled about having to use Dial antibacterial hand soap on my hair because nothing is more drying than antibacterial soap but there wasn’t any other choice.   I leaned over the tiny bathroom sink and scrubbed at the roots of my hair and then rinsed.   The little flakes of dry shampoo were gone.   But…

Now, there was a paste!   Yes, a paste.  Sort of like in that episode of Friends where Ross is wearing leather pants and calls Joey for help when he overheats and can’t get them pulled back up in the bathroom of his girlfriend’s house.   Don’t know what I’m talking about?  Watch the video clip here:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rbZVlKKd7I8  

I nearly cried.   It took three more washings with the hand soap before all of the dry shampoo paste was gone from my hair.   My hair was revolted at this treatment and stuck up every which way for the rest of the day.  It refused to be smoothed down.

I’m refusing to ever use dry shampoo again.

Third Class is the Magic Class

Missy and I took the ten am class on Saturday because we wanted to sleep in a little bit after being out together late the night before for drinks with some mutual friends.   I was looking forward to the class because it was with the teacher who had been my favorite teacher the first time I tried Bikram Yoga.  I enjoy this particular teacher because he is an inspiration to me and I like the calming but quietly encouraging tone of his voice.   He always gets me to push just a little bit more and just a little bit harder.

Class was a little more full than it had been the previous two days at six am but it seems reasonable to expect that some people want to sleep in a little bit and some people who usually take an evening class want to get a morning one in on their off day.   I set up in the back row to one side of the podium and had a perfect view to the mirror ahead of me.  I have a love/hate thing going with an unobstructed view of the mirror.

I dashed out of the hot room one last time to use the bathroom before things got started and when I got back my Favorite Teacher walked in just a moment behind me.   As always, class began with Standing Deep Breathing and I was pleased to find that much of the tightness in my shoulders was absent.   Both sets did not seem to go on forever as they had the first two days and I took this as an auspicious sign.

Each posture I felt a little bit better than I had the day before and I concentrated deeply with no thoughts in my mind other than the words of the teacher.  I breathed a little deeper, stretched a little bit harder, and before I knew it class was over.   Was I perfect?  Not even close!!   But I was the teeniest tiniest smidgen better than the day before.   I lay in the final Savassana with a huge smile on my face.   I knew every class wouldn't feel exactly as this one did but today it was just right.

I really think there's something about the third class.  It's magical.   I remember this from the first time I took Bikram and I've heard others say the same thing.   I think the first class your nerves are as tight as tight can be and it's blistering hot and you didn't know it would be THAT hot.  You wonder if you are going to suffocate, throw up, pass out, or have the sheer good luck to merely fall down dead and the class seems endless.   Maybe you couldn't even attempt a few of the postures, maybe you had to sit out a few but finally you make it through and feel pretty darn good afterwards.   You come back for a second class and within minutes of it beginning you are questioning yourself.   Are you out of your damn mind?  This time you KNEW how bad it was going to be and yet you came back?  What the hell were you thinking?   No!  You weren't thinking at all, were you?      You come back for a third class and it's mainly because of peer pressure or guilt that you paid for this and you are going to get your money's worth.

But then something magical happens.   This third class you walk in knowing two things.  You know the postures now and you know you survived two classes already and most importantly, can do it again.   You're not the new person today!  There's someone else in the hot room taking their first class and sort of hoping they quietly die over there in the back corner.   You're not going to die.  You're bad ass.  You've got this!   Your mind is relaxed and your body is able to release some of its tension and you find yourself pushing yourself in each posture and enjoying that wobbly feeling you get when you are stretching to your personal utmost.

You're even more drenched in sweat and you feel damn good.   You walk proudly out the hot room and the cooler air that hits your skin is like a job well done pat on the back.   Endorphins come rushing through your body--bet you didn't know you could produce that many, huh?--and all the rest of the day you are floating on Yoga Bliss.

Steam From My Ears

Somehow, the second class seemed even hotter than the first.   I think it was because this time I knew exactly how hot it is the hot room rather than remembering from a year and a half ago.  The inside of my ears got blistering hot again.  How weird is that?!

I Didn't Remember It Being This Hot!

Yup, felt exactly like this

I woke up several times the night before my return to Bikram Yoga.  I'm not sure why I was nervous because when I walked into the new studio, the teacher at the desk was very sweet and helpful and even gave me the Welcome Back Special.   It's identical to the new student trial package--unlimited classes for two weeks for $20--but it really did make me feel good about coming back.

This was the first time I had been in the new studio and it was a lot more spacious than the previous location.  The lobby was large enough for everyone to comfortably get in, get their shoes off, check in, and even mingle for a few minutes before (or after!) class.   The locker rooms were larger too--more bathroom stalls and more showers and in general just more room to move about and change.   The hot room was the most pleasant surprise; like the other areas, it was larger and the flooring was some type of wood/synthetic wood instead of the strange (and stinky!) carpeting that had been in the old studio.   It was surely easier to clean and the faint undercurrent of industrial heating and sweat wasn't nearly as strong.

The temperature of the room sure did seem hotter than I remembered!   More likely, I had just forgotten just what it feels like to be in a room that was around 105 degrees.  Quickly, I unfurled my mat and towel and scampered off to the locker rooms to peel off my outdoor clothes.   It felt much better when I got back into the hot room and sat on my mat with less clothing on.   There were a few people already in the room with me and several more filtered in over the next ten minutes.  It seemed like nearly everybody had that 'yoga body' and were wearing the skimpiest shorts and tops.   My tank top and average length shorts seemed suddenly to be a ridiculous amount of clothing.   I felt a little overdressed but I reminded myself that who knew what the future would bring.  Maybe one day I too would be confident enough to wear tiny scraps of clothing.   Or else, I'd just be so freaking hot I'd not care anymore!

Class began.   I promptly was reminded how much I dislike the very first posture which is really just a breathing exercise: Standing Deep Breathing/Pranayama Series.   The first part of it isn't so bad; it's an inhale with the fingers interlaced under the chin and as you breath in you lift the elbows to the ceiling.  It's the second part that gets me.   The second part requires you to exhale, dropping your head back and bringing your arms back down so your palms, wrists, forearms, and then elbows touch.   For some reason, it really hurts the back and front of my neck to drop my head back!   Maybe it's the weight of the huge coil of hair I have pinned on top of my head?  I don't know.   I swear both sets of Standing Deep Breathing had a million inhales and exhales and sweat was already trickling down my arms.

The Half Moon Pose with Hands to Feet went well enough and it felt especially good to stretch out my right hip.   I spared a few thoughts that Bikram Yoga would help me manage my crappy s-1 joint pain that likes to give me so many problems on a day to day basis.  Awkward Pose came next and it nearly killed me.  Holding my arms out in front of me that long was agonizing.   How on earth can one's arms be so heavy?  I managed as best as I could and only had to drop my arms twice and only for a half second.   I couldn't sit back very far because of my tight hip but I was okay with that.  It will take time.

The next few postures all seemed to follow in a burning but not painfully so manner.  I did my best and ignored the part of my mind that was reminding me how much better I was able to do everything 18 months ago.  It didn't matter.   This is now.   Standing Bow and Balancing Stick had me wobbling and going ow, ow, ow! as my heart started pounding and I felt twice as hot.   Even the insides of my ears felt hot!   Sweat trickled down and dripped off me leaving little wet spots all over my towel.   I  felt a bit trembly and lightheaded and I almost thought it would be most pleasant to go crashing to the floor because then I'd be ON the floor and it looked like a glorious place to be.

No such luck.   Standing Separate Leg Stretching Pose was next and I had forgotten how much I enjoyed that one.  I couldn't go as low as I once could but as I stretched away and down I could feel some of the tension in me dropping out and relaxing me.   It seemed I could breath a bit better too and I made it to the floor series with more positive thoughts than I had been having just a few minutes ago.

The floor series went well until the dreaded Camel.   I knew it was coming and I couldn't help but remember what a challenge it had always been.  You kneel with your knees six inches apart and your hands in the small of your back.  Then, there's the dreaded dropping your head back.   If you manage that well enough then you reach for your heels and arch your back with your hips forward.   I began to drop my head back, it hurt and I felt nauseous.  No reaching for the heels for me!  Not this time!  The second set wasn't any better.

There were a few more postures left before the final Savasana.  Doggedly I pushed through those as well, feeling tired, but proud that I made it through the entire class.   Never had it felt so good to lay still and just listen the final few words of the teacher before class ended.   I got up from the floor reluctantly--I felt like laying there for the next hour! Ha!--and staggered from the room.  The cool air from the lobby greeted me and instantly rejuvenated me.   By the time I was changed and walking out to my car I could feel a sense of exhilaration building.

I think I'm hooked.

Back To Bikram

About a year and a half ago, I convinced a friend of mine to try Bikram Yoga with me.  We both signed up for the two week beginner trial and at the end of it only I decided to continue with it.  I tried for a couple more weeks by myself and then I just stopped going.   I think I expected to see results quickly and when I didn't, I made up all sorts of reasons why it just made sense to stop.   It took up too much time, it was a pain to park, gas prices were climbing, the studio was moving to a new location---you name it and I probably used it as an excuse.

But the thing is...Bikram Yoga has haunted me since I stopped attending late in the winter of 2012.   I've thought often about returning and the monthly newsletter arrived like clockwork in my email.   I wanted to go back but I kept making excuses---no, let me amend that--I didn't make excuses; I just recycled the old ones!   Then, a couple weeks ago I decided that I was going sign up again and THIS time I wouldn't make excuses.  This time I would understand that my practice was an ever changing but slow process.

My friend Missy expressed an interest in yoga and I told her I wanted to go back to Bikram Yoga and asked her if she would be interested in coming with me.   She was but not until the following week.   Impatiently, I agreed to wait for her and in the end it was just as well that I had to wait because two days later I came down with bronchitis and spent the next several days feverish and hacking up my lungs.   It ended up being a good thing because having to wait to start class again only gave me more time to think on yoga being about the process and not the end result.

Missy and I decided we would take our first class on Thursday at 6 am.   The night before I texted her to remind her but didn't get any reply.   I was torn--should I go anyways or wait for another day?   I gave it some thought but decided that I needed to do this for me.   The first step was mine to take and if Missy decided to join me then great but if not that was okay too.   I set my alarm for 5 am and went to bed early.

Tomorrow was going to be my first day back to Bikram Yoga.